Can't Stay Away
by tuesday's child
Summary: Buffy goes to Spike after the end of Gone. Spoilers for Gone. **CHAPTER 6 ADDED 12/14/02** PLEASE READ AND REPLY
1. Gone, but not Forgotten

After watching tonight's episode, Gone, I was a bit dissapointed. I mean, the Buffy/Spike was really great. But, I wanted to see his reaction after she got her self back to normal. I know, I know, it's only an hour long...So I'm writing what I want to happen! Spoilers for Gone. Please review. Flames are fine, but, I ignore them for the most part.  
  
If I get 15 reviews, I'll write a second part ;-) Hope you like!  
  
~*~  
  
Can't Stay Away  
  
  
The crypt door slammed, followed by the soft sounds of footsteps, barely audible and un-noticed by the the crypt's occupant, who was passed out asleep on the bed in the area below. Buffy hopped down through the rabbit hole, landing expertly and silently on her feet. She stared at Spike as he slept, sprawled over the length of the bed. The white sheet covered little, and left nothing to the imagination. His back muscles were rippled and looked strong, the pale skin smooth and begging ot be touched.  
  
Buffy crouched down at his head and watched as his eyes twitched a little. He was dead asleep, pardon the pun, and she wasn't surprised his vampyric senses hadn't picked up on her entry. She sighed softly, not loud enough to wake him, and leaned closer, licking her lips. She traced his face with her eyes, stopping at his full lips. She ached to kiss him. Just...once. She knew better than to chance it, but Buffy was beyond listening to what her head told her, and she leaned closer still, pressing her lips gently to his.  
  
Spike's eyes flew open and she expected a leering grin. But instead, for just a second, she saw what she'd seen that night, just before they'd started to destroy that abandoned house. Vulnerability. Love. Maybe even fear. But that vanished as quickly as it had come and his eyebrows knitted together.  
  
"What the hell'd you do to your hair?" He demanded. Buffy let out a small laugh and shrugged.  
  
"Cut it."  
  
"Yeah, I can see that, Slayer. You look like that Ally McBeal chick."  
  
"Oh thanks. So glad you see me as an anorexic--"  
  
"You really are too thin."  
  
She glared at him, "I don't know why I came." She said softly, not in her usual pissed-off way, but more or less talking to herself.  
  
"You can't stay away, Slayer. Just bloody admit it."  
  
She snorted. There was that self-centered Spike she'd been expecting. But when she met his eyes again, he was sincere.  
  
"I can stay away." She said and he opened his mouth to say something, "But I don't want to."  
  
His mouth snapped shut.  
  
"Don't look so damn...pleased." She muttered.  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Are too."  
  
He smirked, "OK, so yeah. I am." He pulled her down by her wrist so she was half on top of him, "But then again, you look pretty pleased yourself."  
  
Spike rolled his hips against her so she could feel him getting hard beneath her. Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Dawn and Willow are at home. I need to be there for both of them." She replied, sitting up and looking away, "Dawn's...mad at me. And Willow needs me. I need to fix things for them before--"  
  
"Before what? Before you start to actually LIVE again?" He sighed and sat up, wrapping the sheet around him, "You need to stop thinking about everyone else and start thinking about YOU."   
  
She stood and glared at him, "I can't forget my SISTER and my BEST FRIEND!"  
  
"That's not what I meant. Dawn's one thing. She needs you something aewful. But Red, whether she could use your help or not, she needs to figure things out for herself. Picking up the peices is better done with help from the sidelines. Not with someone holding your hand. You should know that as well as anyone."  
  
Buffy looked down, "You...you're right. But Dawn...Spike, something's wrong. Her whole world is falling down. And so is mine." Tears tightened her throat as she spoke, "The social service people could still take her away from me...And she hates me, so maybe she should go away. I mean, look what kind of a guardian I am--I--"  
  
Spike shushed her, pulling her down onto the bed next to him and wrapping her in his arms, "You've done all you could possibly do, Slayer. You're a great mum to her, and you've been there for your friends, even when your life was, literally, Hell. She doesn't hate you. She's just angry. I know that feeling."  
  
Buffy sniffled and looked up at him, "Why do you suddenly make sense?"  
  
"I awlays have made sense. You weren't paying attention, is all."  
  
Buffy laughed through her tears and leant up to kiss him softly before pulling herself out of his arms and heading back to go up the rabbit hole, "I'll come back, Spike. I promise."  
  
"I love you." He blurted as she reached up to hoist herself through. Buffy froze and looked back.  
  
"I know."  
  
And then she was gone. 


	2. Filling the Emptiness

I was VERY pleased when I signed on today to find such great reviews for this fic. I know I said I would continue with 15 reviews, but 11 is good enough, darnnit. So, this is part two. Please let me know if you want me to continue.  
  
~*~  
  
At home that night, the house was silent. A Buffy walked in, closing the front door behind her, she was immediately struck by the quiet. Willow was sleeping on the couch, Dawn was draped over the small easy chair. The TV was playing the fuzzy snow and the VCR blinked, a tape sticking out. Buffy knew she should wake them up, but they looked so peaceful. So she turned off the TV nd went up to her room, shedding clothes as she went.   
  
Her head was full of Spike. Spike was all she could think about, and right now he was all she WANTED to think about. She didn't know when he had stopped seeing Spike the Vampire and started seeing Spike the Man. When she looked at him, it hurt in her chest. Like there was a space that just wouldn't fill itsself and she couldn't fill by herself. It just echoed with the constant pain that ruled her life. But when she was with him, when she was touching him or being held in his arms, the pain was dulled. Maybe even vanished a little.  
  
"Maybe he's a little bit good for me." She murmured to herself, tugging a white tanktop on over her head and kicking off her jeans at the same time. Maybe the part that really got to her was the love she felt but was fighting away. Because she knew she loved him, or at least some part of her did. For the first time since Angel, Buffy was falling in love. And it was just as tough and as painful as the first time.   
  
She pulled on a pair of shorts and climbed under the covers, but as she turned and reached over to turn off the light, she was met by a pair of icy blue eyes.  
  
"Hello, beautiful."  
  
She froze, "What're you doing here?"  
  
"Couldn't wait for you."  
  
Buffy smiled and Spike gave her a little half-smirk half-smile. She pulled the covers over and patted the bed beside her. He shrugged off his duster and kicked off his boots, then climbed in next to her. Buffy curled into his side, and his arms went around her.  
  
"Slayer?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I know." 


	3. Love You

Thanks a MILLION and a half for all the amazing feedback. You all are so sweet and you ROCK! Thanks again, and here's the third part.  
  
~*~  
  
Dawn walked down the hallway, pulling her hair back as she went. She paused outside Willow'a room and wondered when she'd moved from the living room to bed. And more importantly, how had Dawn gotten to her room? She had no recollection of moving from the couch. She sighed and moved on, knocking softly when she reached Buffy's door. After a few moments, she opened the door quietly.  
  
"Buf--" She gaped, "Good Lord." She whispered. Her sister was all wrapped up in blankets with Spike. Dawn smiled and leaned against the doorway, careful not to make any noise. The scene was cute, but there was sunlight streaming through the open blinds, and it was dangerously close to Spike's head. Dawn tip-toed over, slid the blinds down, and hurried downstairs.  
  
~*~  
  
When Spike came downstairs, he was fully dressed, and Dawn was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of orange juice.  
  
"Morning." She said, and he nodded a greeting. Dawn smirked, not about to let this go, "Sleep well?"  
  
He raised his eyebrows, "Yeah. You?"  
  
"Oh I slept GREAT." Dawn said enthusiastically. "But I bet you and Buffy slept better. MUCH better."  
  
"Nibblet..." He warned, going to the fridge.  
  
"So. You and my sister, huh?"  
  
"Don't start."  
  
"Start what?" Buffy asked, coming into the kitchen, changed into a pair of jeans and a blue halter top.  
  
"Nothing." Dawn said abruptly. She glared at Buffy beforepicking up her bag, "I have school. I'll be at Janice's till 6. I'm helping her with Spanish homework."  
  
"No crazy stuff." Buffy warned, "And no vampires."  
  
Dawn gave her a venemous look and slammed the door behind her.  
  
"Lil sis is pissed at you." Spike commented, "Why?"  
  
"I didn't stop the car accident from happening. She's angry."  
  
"It wasn't your bloody fault." Spike said firmly, handing her a hot cup of coffee, "And Red's getting better. So the lil bit will just have to get over it."  
  
"She will, eventually." Buffy said, though she didn't sound convinced. Spike sighed and wrapped an arm tightly around her waist and tugging her so she stood against him.  
  
"What do I have to do to make you smile?" He murmured, burying his face in her hair.  
  
Buffy laughed a sarcastic little laugh, "Hmm...change the world?"  
  
"You got it." He said, then bent his head and kissed her softly. Buffy sighed and leaned into him, taking comfort in his cool embrace. When they pulled aprt she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.  
  
"I should go." She said, "I have a meeting with a social services guy. Interview."  
  
"Want me to come?"  
  
"No. I don't think you entering in a ball of smoke would go over well. Just stay here. Hang out. I'll be back."  
  
"And if Red asks why I'm here?"  
  
"You've found anest of vamps for me to kill."  
  
"In the middle of the day?"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Make something up. You're good at that."  
  
She grabbed her keys and kissed him quickly before leaving.  
  
"Love you." He muttered to the door, then turned away to find something to do. 


	4. The Key and the Vampire

When Dawn snuck through the back door, she found the kitchen empty. She sighed with relief but motioned for Janice to be quiet anyway. She looked around before daring to make a noise, and sighed.  
  
"Coast is clear." She said, going to the fridge, "You thirsty?"  
  
"Yeah, sure." Janice said, "When's your sister getting home?"  
  
"I dunno. But by the time she does, school'll be out so it's not a problem."  
  
Janice nodded and grinned, "So...should we hang here, or go dig up some entertainment?"  
  
Dawn raised an eyebrow and handed Janice a coke, "What do you suggest?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Dawn shrugged and sat across from the other girl at the kitchen table, "Probably shouldn't risk it."  
  
"Hm. Maybe. Hey, the fumigation party's tonight! Wanna go?"  
  
"The Bronze? Like Buffy's gonna let me go."  
  
"Why NOT?" Janice demanded in disbelief, "Everyone else goes. It's the only all ages place around here! Hello? We're almost 16."  
  
"I know! And Buffy did all kinds of stuff when she was younger than we are!"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Yeah. Like what."  
  
Dawn's eyes widened and she turned slowly at the British accent, "Uh...hi?"  
  
Spike gave her a smirk and looked at Janice, "You. Out."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Just go." Dawn whispered, her eyes pleading with her friend, "I'll call you."  
  
"Who's HE?"  
  
"Um...Willow's boyfriend."  
  
"Isn't she gay?"  
  
"Janice! Go!"  
  
Janice shrugged and grabbed her stuff, hurrying out the door.  
  
"Spike, please don't get mad."  
  
"Oh I'm not mad. I'm almost proud."  
  
"Really??" Dawn looked up at him with hopeful eyes.  
  
"No not REALLY!" He rolled his eyes, "Look, Nibblet, you know better. Youw ill get taken away."  
  
"Maybe I want to be."  
  
"Don't say that. You know you don't mean it."  
  
"Like Hell I don't!" Dawn made a frustrated noise, "I'm 16 not stupid. I'm tired of everyone acting like I don't have a clue. Hello? Thousand year old KEY here?! Buffy won't let me do anything the Scoobies do, she acts like I don't know a thing about vampires or demons or magic. And Xander and Anya treat me like a little kid. And DAMMIT, I know Willow's GAY, OK? I know what that is and I'm tired of people acting like I don't. And don't think I don't know you're banging my sister, because I KNOW! I'm not allowed to do magic. I'm not allowed ot learn how to fight. I can't hear about anyone's love life, god-forbid we corrupt MY virgin ears! I can't go to the Bronze, even though I am SO old enough. Buffy acts like everything she did as a teenager never happened and I have no right to have fun just because she's become this tight-ass witch!"  
  
Dawn's eyes blazed and she was breathing hard from her tyrade. Spike leaned back in his chair.  
  
"You're right about some of it." He said, "You know what's going on. You're old enough to go the the Bronze. And your sister can be a tight-ass. But magic and demons? Why do you even wanna be involved in that bloody mess?"  
  
"I want to understand." She said softly.  
  
"Understand?"  
  
"Yes! I want to know why vampires drink blood. I wanna know how you become a vampire, how come holy water bruns you. And I want to understand evil and why Glory wanted to ruin the world, and why I had to be part of it. Why's there only one Slayer? Why not like 50?" Dawn took a breath, "And no one wants to explain."  
  
"You never asked me to explain."  
  
"Well, duh. Before Buffy died, you were off limits. Stay away from Spike. He's evil. Then after, you were so sad and it was like you were there but you weren't. And I was too busy wanting her back and wanting you to stop being so sad, I didn't have time to worry about that. And now, you're so infatuated with her--AGAIN--to care. Everything's about Buffy. Always. Willow gets high on WitchCrack, oh no, poor Buffy's gotta deal. Social Services? OH NO! Buffy has to deal with them! Nevermind that MY life has SUCKED since my mother died. Does anyone even stop to think? My mother died, I found out I wasn't real, I almost died, my sister DID. Then she just comes back? Does anyone care that I don't get why Buffy does everything, why everyone loves her, why I'm just the little sister?"  
  
Dawn wiped at the tears streaking her cheeks, "I just want to be noticed, you know?"  
  
"Yeah. I know." Spike said quietly remembering his life as William.  
  
"What's going on here?" Buffy demanded from the doorway. The Key and the Vampire turned guiltily. 


	5. Crumbling

Spike stood, "Slayer, don't get mad yet."  
  
Buffy glared at him, "She skips school and you're hanging out with her in the kitchen, and now you're telling me not ot get MAD?"  
  
"Yeah. I am." He said firmly. "There are things that you two need to talk about." Spike looked at Dawn, "Now."  
  
"Talk, then." Buffy said, crossing her arms over her chest and watching Dawn carefully.  
  
"I want you to stop treating me like an idiot." Dawn said calmly.  
  
"Oh, Dawn, I don't treat you like an idiot." Buffy said impatiently, "I treat you like a fifteen year old."  
  
"So let me just make sure I understand." Dawn snapped, "Treating me my age means never letting me go anywhere, sticking me with a babysitter, acting like I can't handle...things, and sending me out of the room if something remotely bad happens? Am I right?"  
  
"No. You're being dramatic."  
  
"Slayer, give her some slack--"  
  
"Spike, shut up." Buffy snapped at him, then looked to her sister, "I don't treat you like an idiot or a child. I just want you to be normal."  
  
"I'm centuries older than your vampire boyfriend." Dawn hissed, "I'm not normal."  
  
Buffy ignored the boy friend comment and rolled her eyes, "Dawn, do we have to go over this? Again?"  
  
"Yes, we do! Not just that, you don't let me help with the Scooby stuff, you won't let me go to the Bronze--"  
  
"You're too young for the Bronze!"  
  
"You were my age when we moved here and you went to the Bronze every night! God Buffy, another year from now I should be having sex with my undead boyfriend."  
  
Spike's eyes widened at the younger Summers woman and he turned to Buffy. The Slayer's eyes had gone cold, "Go to your room. Now."  
  
"No." Dawn said with a voice of steel, "You have no right to treat me like some criminal just because I spoke my mind. You act like everything I do is so horrible. Skipping school. Hanging out with the 'wrong people'. But I could be doing so much wrose and you know it. Let's just recap, big sister. You sent your first boyfriend to hell. You ran away. Your second boyfriend was a government army guy who turned out to be a total disappointment, you're best friend is a witch who just can't quit, and now here we are in the present. YOU have a perfectly good, though slightly fangy, guy standing right in front of you and half the time you treat him like crap. Compared to you, I'm an angel."  
  
Buffy didn't know what she was doing until after she had slapped the other girl across the face. Dawn backed away, her eyes not registering pain or even tears. She just gave Buffy a glare of hate before grabbing her things and running from the house.  
  
Spike watched as the Slayer stumbled to the table and fell into a chair, head in her hands. He had no clue what to do. When Dru lost it, she coaxed her down with presents and kisses. When a Slayer lost it, what did you do?  
  
"Erm...Buffy?"  
  
"Spike, just leave me alone for a while." She whispered, and he heard the tears in her voice.  
  
"Slayer, please don't do that."  
  
"Spike. Go."  
  
He sighed and backed out of the kitchen. It was sunny and clear out. And he wasn't in the mood for suicide. 


	6. A Talk and A Kiss

It had gotten dark, finally. Buffy hadn't been able to find Dawn anywhere, but Spike had every intention of looking for the missing Key as soon as he could. First stop was the shop, which was pointless since Dawn knew that'd be the first place they'd all look. She hadn't been at her friend's house or even (yeah right) at the school. She wasn't in the park or at the Bronze. Spike headed back to his crypt, thinking maybe she'd gone there. He had been right. The young girl was sitting outside the crypt, reading a book by the moonlight.  
  
"Nibblet..."  
  
"Hey, Spike." She said, her voise weary and tired, "Come to drag me home?"  
  
"No. I came to talk to you."  
  
"About?"  
  
"Cutting your bullshit and growing up a little."  
  
Dawn looked at him in disbelief, "Excuse me?"  
  
"Look, I know your sister is wrong sometimes, and I agree with you on some points. But if you want her to take you seriously and actually treat you like the adult you claim to be, you need to put yourself in her place for one second and think about somone besides yourself for just a second."  
  
"Whatever, Spike. You know, I thought I could count on you." Dawn got up and went to leave but the vampire was faster, and he had pushed her into the crypt in a split second.  
  
"Whatever? No. We're going to talk. Now. Buffy has a lot to deal with, and so do you. But you're both making it harder on yourselves by adding this crap to the pile."  
  
"She's the one who--"  
  
"Hey. I'm talking, here. You may hate the way she treats you and you may want to do more than she lets you, and that's just fine, but the way you act like she doesn't do a thing for you is bullshit. She died for you. Did you conveniently forget that?"  
  
Dawn turned away, tears welling up in her eyes, "Are you trying to make me feel guilty?"  
  
Spike sighed, "No, of course not. But she is killing herself all over again trying to make things ok for you, and on top of that, her best friend is in trouble. She's missing her Watcher and her mother, and I know you are, too. Buffy never had the chance to have a childhood, but she'll move land to let you have one."  
  
"But I don't want to be normal."  
  
"I'll talk to her about letting you in on some Scooby stuff and if you ask her rationally--after you apologize--Maybe she'll let you go to the Bronze."  
  
"Spike...Earlier you said you could tell me stuff I wanted to know. Did you mean it?"  
  
"Yeah, I meant it. But I won't tell you things you don't have any business knowin'."  
  
"OK."  
  
"Ready to go home?"  
  
"Sure. I guess."  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy looked up from the phone and address book and dropped the phone to the receiver when Dawn and Spike came in. She suddenly forgot how mad she was and pulled her little sister into a Slayer-stregth hug.  
  
"Oh, God, You're ok!" She cried, and Dawn had to wrestle her way out of the vice grip.  
  
"Yeah, thanks to Spike." Dawn said pointedly, then looked down a little, "Uh...Can we talk?"  
  
Buffy nodded, "We have to talk. Big time. Meet you in your room?"  
  
"OK."  
  
Dawn went upstairs and Buffy turned to Spike who was moving for the door, "Spike. Wait."  
  
"Yeah?" He turned back to her.  
  
"How'd you find her?"  
  
"She was hanging around my crypt. I had a good talk with her, too."  
  
Buffy smiled a little and hugged him, on impulse, "Thank you."  
  
He returned the hug, savoring the feeling of her so close, "Anything for you. Even when you send me away."  
  
"I'm sorry..." She whispered, "I just..I slapped her and it was like I froze. I let my fight instinct take over just a little."  
  
"You were pissed."  
  
"That, too."  
  
Spike tilted her chin up, "Don't beat yourself up. Go talk to her, and take hot chocolate with you. She likes it. With marshmallows."  
  
"I see you're rubbing off."  
  
Spike grinned and kissed her neck, "The only person I want to be...rubbing...is you."  
  
Buffy sighed and made a tiny whimpering noise before pushing him away firmly, "No...I have to talk to my sister. Now."  
  
He gave her said puppy eyes but smiled, "I know. I love you, Slayer."  
  
Spike leaned down and kissed her lightly before backing away.  
  
"I know..." Buffy whispered and he disappeared out the door. 


End file.
